The Italian Who Went To USA

One day I ma gonna USA to bigga hotel. I go down to breakfast. I tella the
waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She bring me only one piss. I tell her I
wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna
two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna
a bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she calls me a sonna va bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress she bring me a
spoon and knife but no fock. I tell her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone
wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock onna table. She
say you better no fock onna table, you sonna va bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there isa no shits onna ma bed. I
call the manager and I tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet.
I say you no understand, I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better no
shit onna bed, you sonna va bitch.

I go to the check-out and the man at the desk say, "Peace on You". I say,
"Piss onna you too, you sonna va bitch. I gonna back to Italy!"